Blog Details
September 27 2023 Vennessa McConkey

Your Hurt Wasn't Your Fault

It wasn’t something you asked for, and it wasn’t something you deserved.

What happened to you was not fair.

You were merely collateral damage on someone else’s warpath, an innocent bystander who got wrecked out of proximity.

We are all hurt by life, some of us from terrible wrongdoings, others by unprocessed pain and sidelined emotions.

Yet what we can NOT forget is that even when we are not at fault, healing in the aftermath will always fall on us — and instead of being burdened by this, we can actually learn to see it as a rare gift.

Healing is our responsibility because unprocessed pain gets transferred to everyone around us, and we are not going to allow what someone else did to us to become what we do to those we love.

Healing is our responsibility because if we want our lives to be different, sitting and waiting for someone else to make them so, or apologize will not actually change that person. It will only make us bitter.

Healing is our responsibility because we DO have the power to heal ourselves, even if we have previously been led to believe we don’t.

Healing is our responsibility because we are uncomfortable, and discomfort almost always signals a place in life in which we are slated to rise up and transform.

Healing is our responsibility because every great person you deeply admire began with every odd against them, and learned their inner power was no match for the worst of what life could offer.

Healing is our responsibility because “healing” is actually not returning to how and who we were before, it is becoming someone we have never been — someone stronger, someone wiser, someone kinder.

The thing is that when someone else does something wrong and it affects us, we often sit around waiting for them to take the pain away, as though they could come along and undo what has been done.

We fail to realize that in that hurt are the most important lessons of our lives, the fertile breeding ground upon which we can start to build everything we really want.

You are the one who can start with a fresh canvas….take the paintbrush and paint something new.

We are not meant to get through life unscathed.

Life hurts us all in different ways, but it is how we respond — and who we become — that determines whether a trauma becomes a tragedy, or it’s the beginning of the story of how the victim became the hero.

It’s not easy, but it IS worth it.

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